Shortly before Jesus was taken away to be crucified, he shared with his disciples what was pressing on his heart: “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:34-35).
How can we live out this commandment that is so precious to Jesus?
David Augsburger suggests, “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.” In other words, if you want to love others as Jesus commanded us to do, then give attention to listening to others.
Rachel Naomi Remi advises, “The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.”
It has been said, “Listening communicates powerfully that you take the other person seriously, that they are valued, that you appreciate them, and that you care.”
God gave us mouths that close and ears that don’t. That should tell us something!
Reader’s Digest once shared a short but powerful poem:
His thoughts were slow,
His words were few, and never formed to glisten.
But he was a joy to all his friends—
You should have heard him listen
If you would like to take seriously this invitation to love one another through listening, here are some tips:
Make time. We live in a hectic society, filled with distractions. We cannot listen well to another person on the run. Make time in which you can engage your ears, your mind and your heart with a person.
Show your interest. Rather than turning your attention to your phone, look at the person you as they talk with you.
Listen for feelings. Don’t listen only to the words that are said, but to the feelings behind the words. Then you will be listening not just to the mouth but to the heart.
Ask questions. Questions express a genuine interest in another person.
Keep confidences. Honor the other person by not sharing with others what has been shared personally with you.
Be respectful. Even if you disagree with what someone is sharing with you, be respectful of the person who shares it.