Recently my longtime friend Pam lost her husband. Ron passed two weeks ago after a somewhat short battle with cancer.
This week Pam asked me how long it takes to not be lonely.
She and Ron were married 51 years. Just as I did when my late husband David passed more than 20 years ago, she was at Ron’s side when he went.
We are all different and I didn’t have an answer to her question. There are no time limits on grieving and feeling lonely. For many couples, spouses are their best friends. They are the first ones with whom to share our news.
That feeling of loss and adjusting to being on your own is a tough journey. But it is a journey many of us have taken. It is a challenge to find our confidence in ourselves and to recognize our abilities to survive.
I told Pam it is a one day at a time journey. At this point, there are many details she needs to address. It will keep her busy. Once we recognize we are now relying upon ourselves, we move forward. It’s up to us now. One day at a time we learn to live on our own.
How long does it take to not be lonely? How long does that emptiness linger? There are no answers.
Pam, I suspect, will work through the challenges. She will continue to live a good life. Her family loves her. She will be OK.
This past week, my neighbor Shirley Zook also passed. Shirley was a woman to be admired. She was beautiful inside as well as on the outside.
She had a great garden and would often share her homegrown produce. I often saw this lively 90-year-old outside tending her own yard and garden. She was amazing.
Some years back, she was known for baking the best cakes ever. If we got a piece of Shirley Zook cake it was a treat indeed.
We were all lucky to have known this beautiful person.
Because of souls such as Shirley in our lives Life is good today.
